Matters of the Mind
by bubblegum-buddy
Summary: Wammy's House, a prestigious orphanage for brilliant young minds training to become the next L. We know of the ranking system and its top students: Near, Mello, Matt...but what of the very last on the list? Near/OC, R
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! Thank you for stopping by to read Matters of the Mind. I'm working on this project for JulNoWriMo, starting my word count from the second chapter. I'm really taking this seriously and I truly hope that you enjoy it! Please review after you read, it would mean so much to me. Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, its characters, or anything associated with it. I only own this plot and the original characters that appear in it.**

* * *

The faint rain drizzled on her light brown hair, softening its hard, shaggy appearance. She looked down at the sidewalk, clutching the bear that her father gave her on his deathbed as the older men talked. She was standing in front of Wammy's House, a special home for smart boys and girls like her. At least, that was what Daddy said. She didn't have a mom to take care of her, she had died in childbirth, and Daddy had died just a few days ago.

The man who had brought her here, Watari, looked down at her and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up with sad, pale blue eye and the old man smiled kindly. "Felicity, I must tell you now that you have to call yourself by a new name."

She blinked. "Why? My mom named me Felicity…It means happiness."

Watari shook his head. "You're going to school here to learn to become a great detective, but no one can know your real name. You have to call yourself something different. An identity is a very important thing to keep safe, and the best way to do that is not to reveal it." An even larger frown crossed her face, and Watari added, "I know it's hard, but surely there's another name you like you can use. Why, it could begin with an 'F' like your real name does."

She looked down at her shoes and thought very hard, stroking the head of her white teddy bear. Seconds passed by like hours as she decided on a new name, one her Daddy would have liked. Then, it finally came to her, and she spoke it shyly.

"…Fera. I want to be called Fera. I-it's Latin for 'wild,' I think."

Watari nodded. "Well then. Welcome, Fera, to Wammy's House."

* * *

"_It's seven-'o'-clock!" the after-care teacher was saying to a woman who worked outside the principal's office. "Where on earth could her father be?"_

_Felicity, sitting in a chair in the library, swung her feet back and forth like she was on a swing. She had to admit, she was worried. _Daddy wouldn't just leave me,_ she thought to herself, _would he?

_The phone rang and the librarian was quick to answer it, saying the name of Felicity's school. Then there was a pause. "…We'll be there right away," she responded, hanging up. "Come on, Felicity," she said, grabbing the little girl's hand. "We're going to see your father."_

"_B-but isn't Daddy coming to get me?" she asked shyly, dragging her little backpack behind her, tripping over the straps as she followed the fast-moving feet dressed in black._

"_Just come with me," she insisted, but then Felicity pulled her hand back, hugging her backpack._

"_No!" she squeaked. "Daddy told me not to go with someone unless they give me a good reason! Bad people take you places for no reason!"_

_The librarian sighed. "Felicity…There's been an accident at your father's store. He's in the hospital. Please, come with me…"_

_Felicity's eyes opened wide and she nodded dumbly, dragging her backpack again; lucky she didn't leave it behind. The teacher sighed sadly and took her hand. "Let's just go. The sooner we get there, the better."_

_The car ride there was a blur of pictures and movement and noise, she was too far away in her mind to process it. What happened to Daddy? Why couldn't he call the school sooner? What was going on? Felicity's young mind couldn't understand, not to mention the absolute worry and _fear _that was consuming her. She loved her daddy so much…This shouldn't happen to people you love._

"_Felicity, we're here…Felicity?"_

_The librarian's voice snapped her out of her frightened stupor. (At least, partially out.) She got out of the car, took the woman's hand, and followed silently, like a sheep. The blacktop of the parking lot, mixed with the fierce wind and rain and the red brick of the hospital all melded together in a swirling, silent storm in front of her eyes. Most likely, she wouldn't have been able to walk in a straight line if she wasn't holding the librarian's hand._

_Felicity didn't know what part of the hospital they were walking into, but when the sliding doors opened, she squeezed the librarian's hand a little tighter. No more did the shapes become melded together like she was in a surreal dream. No, now the images and sounds were all too clear._

_This was real._

_This was happening._

_But, oh, God, she didn't want it to be._

_

* * *

_

"Go on, don't be shy," another old man working at the orphanage, Roger, said.

Apparently, she had arrived during recess for the children. They were busy playing games indoors, but Fera didn't want to join. She shook her head, clutching the bear and hiding behind it. "I-I don't think I should…"

"Why not? They're just children like you," Roger replied, trying to coax her but failing. He wasn't too deterred by this behavior, though. Many of the children at Wammy's where what you would call "strange," in a word.

Fera looked back over and shook her head again, stepping backwards and bumping into Roger's leg. "Oh! I'm sorry, Roger!" she squeaked. "I-I didn't mean to do that…"

"It's fine," Roger responded. "Now, go on, just join in. They won't bite you." He thought for a moment, then added quietly, "All right, K might, but other than that, he's harmless." But another violent shake of Fera's head convinced him that she would not join the others. "Okay, okay, you don't have to. I'll have one of the older children show you around." Roger scanned the room and called, "D, come here."

An older boy, about 16, with prematurely gray hair walked over. He walked straight, with confidence, and his brown eyes were light and responsive. Stretching his arms behind his back, his green flannel jacket opening t reveal a black t-shirt underneath, he asked, "What's up, Roger?" He then looked down and smiled a bit. "Aw, is this a new kid?"

"Yes, this is Fera," Roger said.

"H-hello," Fera squeaked, still hiding behind her teddy bear.

D must not have heard her, because he looked at Roger again and said, "She's a cute kid. Want me to show her around?"

"Yes, I'd like that," Roger said, gently pushing Fera in his direction a bit. "Fera, go with Dilan here. He'll show you around Wammy's House so that way you don't get lost. Understand?"

Fera nodded and Dilan kicked his foot backwards. "All right, then!" he chirped, patting the young girl on the head. "Welcome to Wammy's, Fera." He turned and walked away. Fera followed him quietly, staring at his sneakers. His jeans were a little big, so she couldn't see them like she could for most people, but they seemed well-worn, like he was almost ready for a new pair but didn't want to let them go.

"This room we're in now," Dilan said, "is the common room. We come in here in our free time most of the time, and for indoor recess. Down this hallway," he added, looking back to make sure Fera was still following him, "we have the library. If we have a paper to write, this is the place to go get research. There's usually three to seven kids here, I know. I've done the math."

"Wow, how did you figure that out?" Fera asked curiously. She walked up to his side and came up a little past his knee. _Either he's really tall,_ she thought, _or I'm really short._

"Oh, it's not that complicated," Dilan said, stepping inside. "Look here now. How many kids are in here?"

Fera stopped for a moment to count. "Umm, five. Unless somebody's hiding."

D chuckled. "Yeah, that's right. If you came here two hours ago, you'd have seen that there were eight. Basically, what I did was I came in at different points during the day, tallied up the number, and – well, you'll learn how to do stuff like that in your classes. It's not important. Anyway, come on," he said, holding the door open so she could step out before him. "We've got places to go and people to see!"

Fera smiled a bit. She liked this boy, he was nice and friendly. "Okay," she said, more enthusiastically than last time.

They walked down a different hallway and Dilan gestured toward a room with a large, long table at the center of it. "This is the dining room. Don't be fooled. It may look fancy, but really, it's like the kitchen table at home. Many a food fight have been broken out in here." Fera giggled and took a moment to take it all in, then turned back and followed D as he walked out. "And next to it, we have the kitchen. Afternoon, Sama!" Dilan called in. A woman who had dark brown, almost black, hair tied up in a bun shook a large spoon at him and he laughed. Turning back to Fera, he said, "That's Sama, the chef here. Don't get her angry or she might put something nasty in your food."

"Don't start spreading lies about me, young man!" Sama replied, glaring at Dilan. "Especially not to a little girl like that!"

"I'm not lying!" Dilan said, laughing. "You put a worm in my eggs earlier."

"It was a _gummy_ worm," she insisted. "And you did that!"

"Well, would ya look at the time!" Dilan said, gesturing exaggeratedly at his wrist (on which there was no watch). "Gotta go! See ya, Sama!"

"Watch yourself!" Sama snapped after him. Fera, a bit frightened, pulled close to D and followed the gray-haired boy closely. Dilan seemed to have a permanent grin on his face and it made Fera feel at ease.

"Come on, I'll show you the dorms real quick," Dilan said, walking up a staircase. Fera shyly gripped the wood banister and made sure not to drag her muddy shoes on the red carpet. At the top, a room with the letter "M" was on it.

"We actually have two M's here," Dilan said, laughing. "This is our first M's room, though. You'll see him around, being loud and obnoxious. His name's Mello. The other M's name is Matt, but he practically lives in his bedroom, so you don't have to worry about him. You know we go by letters and not just codenames, right?"

Fera shuffled a bit in place. "I kinda guessed, but I wasn't sure…"

Dilan chuckled. "You're really shy, aren't you?" Fera stammered a bit, embarrassed, but D cut her off. "It's fine, I'm just messing with you. Come on, I'll take you to your room so you can get settled in." He turned around and Fera followed again, burying her face in her bear.

"…These hallways are really dark," she remarked. "There's hardly any lights down here."

"Yeah, we're really not supposed to be in our rooms much so there isn't much light. You get used to it after a while." He turned around, grinning. "Why? Scared of the dark?"

"N-no! I-I just noticed it, that's all."

They walked down a ways in silence, Fera gripping her bear tightly, jumping at the flitting shadows on the walls. The truth was, she wasn't scared of the dark, but what she imagined could be hiding inside it. You never knew…

* * *

"_Excuse me?" the librarian asked the man at the reception desk. He looked up, dark-haired with large glasses and a scowl on his face._

"_Yeah?" was all he said, instead of a "May I help you?" or a "What can I do for you?"._

"_We're here to see a Mr. Benjamin Hunter…"_

"_You family?" the man asked. Felicity gripped the woman's hand tightly, begging her to say 'yes.'_

"_W-well, you see, I'm not, but this girl here, she's his daughter, Felicity, and-"_

"_You can take her, but you'd better not get caught." He took a quick glance at the scared little girl and almost – almost, God forbid he actually did – gave her an expression that said, "I'm sorry," while handing the librarian the room number and visitor passes. But Felicity didn't look long enough to check; held in tow by the librarian, whose tight bun was becoming loose, strands of blonde hair beginning to fly about, she was tearing down the hallway to her father's room. _

_They opened the door and Felicity saw a doctor and two nurses standing over a bed. Going to that bed were lots of beeping machines and plastic tubes and other things she didn't understand. Surely this couldn't have been the right room, could it? She looked up at the librarian for assurance, but the grim look on the adult's face spoke the words she didn't want to hear._

_Incredulously, Felicity turned her head back to the bed, letting go of the librarian's hand and walking toward it slowly. Her backpack merely dangled off her shoulder, but she didn't seem to notice. One of the nurses stepped out of the way and the doctor and the librarian began to have a sad-sounding conversation, but Felicity wasn't paying attention._

_She looked up at the head of the bed and saw a man with dark hair and a scruffy beard, a clear oxygen mask on his face. His normally healthy complexion was pallid and sickly-looking, and a groan emitted from his throat. Yes, this man looked like her father, but it wasn't the same man who would pick her up and swing her around in the air. He wasn't the same man who would kiss her goodnight and remind her to say her prayers. And he certainly was not the same man she kissed goodbye when she went to school that morning._

_Because her father, her daddy, was not a dying man._

"_D-Daddy?" she asked quietly, touching his hand and avoiding those nasty, scary tubes at all costs. "A-are you sleeping?"_

_He groaned again, opening dark green eyes. "Felicity…" he grunted, holding her little hand, so small in comparison to his. He squeezed tight and Felicity had to fight back tears, because while she didn't understand what was going on, the instincts that only a child possesses told her that this was going to be very bad._

"_Daddy, why are you in the hospital?" she asked, biting her lip. "Wh-what happened? A-are you gonna come home soon? I-I-I can p-pack my own lunch for the morning for school…"_

_Her father chuckled, then coughed in pain. "Sweetie, I'm…not coming back home."_

_Her eyes widened in shock and she gasped. "What? No! What do you mean!?"She clutched his hand, never wanting to let go, afraid that if she did he would simply vanish before her eyes. "Daddy, y-you have to come home! Wh-what am I supposed to do without you?"_

_Unseen to Felicity's eyes, a small tear slid down the man's pale cheek, and he removed his hand from her tiny, desperate grip to stroke her wet face. "It's okay…You'll go to a home for smart girls and boys like you…You'll be okay."_

"_But it's not the same!" she wailed grabbing his hand and crying freely now. "It's not the same! I wanna just go back home with you! I love you! D-don't leave me, Daddy, please! Please!"_

"_Felicity," he muttered faintly, coughing. "Sweetie, I want you to have this, okay?" He looked at one of the nurses, who handed Felicity a pure white teddy bear, soft and furry, with shiny black eyes and a pink felt nose. She took it but absentmindedly, more interested in squeezing her father's hand, trying so hard to hold on to the one person she knew loved her in the world. "Promise me," he father said to her, looking her right in the eyes. "Promise me that you'll be a good girl, okay?"_

_She nodded wordlessly, twin rivers coming from her eyes and primal sounds of pain escaping her lips._

"_Honey, remember this, okay?" She nodded, promising to remember. "Whenever things seem their worst, whenever all the lights are out and when you're at the lowest part of your game…That's when everything shines. That's…that's the one thing I've learned, and God, how I wish I could have known that at your age. Promise me you'll remember that, Felicity."_

_She nodded. "I-I promise, Daddy, I promise."_

_He smiled, sighing. He took in one, two, three more breaths, squeezing his little girl's hand, and then…_

Beeeeep…

_His hand went limp in hers, his head lolling to the side and his chest falling for the last time. And still he smiled._

"…_Daddy?" she asked. No response. "D-Daddy?? Daddy! No!" She broke down, collapsing on his stomach, clad in a thin hospital gown and sobbing. She clutched the paper-thin covering and cried and screamed and wailed, but a little part of her knew her efforts were fruitless. Because her daddy was gone, and he wasn't coming back._

_

* * *

_

"Fera? Hey! Hellooooo?" D was waving his hand in front of her face, "Earth to F! Helloooo?"

"Huh?" she asked, snapping out of her stupor. They were standing in the middle of one of the dark Wammy hallways. "Oh, sorry…"

"Eh, it's all right, we all space out sometimes," Dilan replied, shrugging. "Anyway, here's your room," he said, gesturing towards the door. She turned and blushed a bit. It was a large door with a painted-on "F" on it. Her merely staring at the door made the older boy laugh. "Come on, open it! It's your room, after all."

Casting a shy glance at him, Fera took her tiny hand to the cold metal doorknob – it felt like it had never been touched before – and twisted it. Pushing the door open, she saw a fairly empty, gray room. A simple bed was up against the wall with white sheets on it and a standard white pillow. There was a small closet inside it upon further inspection, and an empty dresser sat at the other end of the room. The walls were bare except for one, on which there was a window looking out over the English country.

"You can fix it up later and make it really your own," D said, surprising her a bit. She hadn't heard him come in. "But for now we have enough room for you to put your things in and clean sheets for you to use for the night. Normally it looks a little nicer," he admitted, gazing out the window, the rain dripping down it, "but you were a bit more short-notice than some of us."

Feeling embarrassed for no good reason, Fera buried her face in the white bear again, which she was growing to love. "U-um…"

"No, no, don't you worry about it!" Dilan said, smiling sheepishly. "It's fine. Come on, let's go grab that suitcase of yours and you can empty it out. We'll make you feel right at home, okay?" He left the room, whistling a happy-sounding tune, but for a moment, Fera stood in place.

"Home…" she whispered. Thoughts of her father went through her mind and, biting back a few bitter tears, she followed the boy who was kind enough to try and help her. But she wasn't sure if this place, this Wammy's House, could ever really become 'home' like living in that little house, just her and her daddy, on the corner of two quiet back roads was.

* * *

_The adults were talking in the big room, all dressed in black and with sad faces. Felicity had gone to her grandma and grandpa's for the night and was now wearing a black dress, on her grandma's wishes. To be honest, she didn't really care. Instead of socializing or going near her father's body, all dressed up in makeup that made him look different and scary, she sat on a chair next to a window. Looking out it, she became angry._

_Her father, her daddy was dead, but the sun was shining and butterflies were flying by the window, white ballet dancers lighting down on pink flowers. Why, she thought angrily, was such a happy scene outside when she felt so sad?_

_An older man, also dressed in black, walked up to Fera. She looked up at him and saw that he had a silver moustache and squinty eyes that looked closed. He wore glasses, but, if you didn't open your eyes, how could you use them?_

"_Hello," he said quietly, tipping his hat for a moment. She nodded, acknowledging him, but she felt unsure. Most of the people here were family or family friends, but she'd never seen this man before. "My name is Watari," he said. "I work for an orphanage for gifted children. And you are Felicity, correct?"_

_She nodded again, holding her bear. It was almost adorable (almost) how the white bear contrasted the dark clothing. "Uh-huh."_

"_Felicity, did your father tell you that you were going to be going to this place?"_

"_He…mentioned it," she said, "but why do I have to go? My grandma and grandpa can take care of me, right?"_

_The old man shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, but they cannot, for financial reasons." Felicity knew that 'financial' meant 'money' but didn't quite understand. She kept quiet, though. It didn't seem important to ask. "So in about three days, you'll be coming with me to Wammy's House."_

_Felicity bit her lip, scared out of her mind. She lost her father, and now she had to go somewhere she didn't know with a man she had never met before? "…D-do I have to?" she asked quietly._

"_I'm afraid there's no other choice," Watari said, stepping closer to a chair next to her. "May I?" he asked, and she nodded. Taking a seat, Watari removed his hat, revealing his silver hair (which surprised her, since her grandpa had that color of hair but he was bald) and sighed. "It's always so unfortunate," he said, half to himself, "the things you children have to go through. But I can assure you," he added, looking right at her, "you have a bright future ahead of you now."_

_She wanted to believe him._

_

* * *

_

"Wow, one suitcase and that's it?" Dilan asked, surprised as he took the black case into his hands and carrying it with ease. "Heh, that's less that I expected."

"M-my daddy and I didn't have a lot of things at home," she said quietly, as if she was afraid to talk. "W-we made due with what we had, really."

D smiled, leading the way back to her room again. "Let's take the route through the classrooms," he suggested, "so you can see those on your way." She nodded.

They cut through the playroom and out a door in the back of it, but while walking through it, she noticed a boy with white hair and dressed in white sitting all alone in the corner. She stopped to look at him for a second. He was playing with a puzzle quietly, a rubber duck at his side. No one bothered to walk over to him or ask him to join in their games. "D-Dilan?" she asked, turning back to him and tugging on his shirt sleeve.

"Hmm?" he asked, looking down at her with curious brown eyes. "What's up?"

"Um, th-that boy," she said, gesturing towards the corner but not pointing (her daddy had taught her never to point at a person because it made them feel bad). "Who is he? He looks lonely. Should I go say hi?"

"Him?" Dilan said. "Oh, that's N. Near. He's about your age – you're, what, seven?"

"Eight," she corrected gently.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," he said. "And he's not lonely. Near just plays by himself all the time. If you want to say hi, you can, but don't expect much. He's not a very social kid."

She looked over at him for a moment. This boy, Near, was so fixated on his puzzle that he didn't even bother to look up at them, although something told Fera that he probably could hear them. She wanted to say hello, she really did, but…she couldn't. "N-no, it's okay," she said, turning around and facing the door. "L-let's just go," she said.

Dilan shrugged, lifting her small black suitcase up on his shoulder. "Fine by me," he said, leading the way.

_So this is Wammy's House,_ Fera thought to herself. _I guess I have a lot of getting used to._

* * *

**Whoo! So glad to be able to post this! I'm pretty proud of it. Please review and let me know what you think!**

**-Winter Poison  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi again! I'm so happy I was able to get so many reviews the first day this was up, so here's the second chapter for you! I'm sorry, this one's about half the size, but don't worry! Chapter 3 should have more than this. Oh, um, one more thing: The chapters may not always be updated this fast, so if you see delays in update, that's the evil thing called "my life" getting in the way.**

**Anyhow, I'm rambling. Please enjoy, and please review! I'd really like to know what you think!  
**

* * *

Fera had gone to sleep quickly that night, clutching that soft teddy bear with all her might. The soft beams of light coming through her window woke her gently – no alarms, no obnoxious students, nothing like that. It was up to everyone to get up at the time their classes started. Fera, not having any classes picked yet, was allowed to acquaint herself with the interior of Wammy's. She quickly dressed herself in a beige turtleneck and a pair of jeans from her suitcase (she hadn't bothered to put them away just yet) and shyly looked out her room.

A group of three children, her age or maybe a little older, were walking down the hallway, chit-chatting and laughing quietly. Clutching the bear (she couldn't bear to be without it, redundant as it sounds), she stepped out into the hall and smiled shyly. "H-hello," she greeted.

The girl in the middle, wearing a white shirt with pink overalls and pink hair ties holding up pigtails, smiled back. "Hi, are you new here?" she asked. "I've never seen you before! I'm Linda, and these are my friends," she introduced. Gesturing to her right, she said, "This is Ruth." Ruth was tall, with dark skin and brown eyes. She silently waved. Linda then gestured to her left, at a boy with black hair clad in a blue ski cap. "And this is Kaarlo," Linda said. Kaarlo pulled at his black tank top and showed of an array of pointy white teeth.

"H-hello," Fera said quietly, feeling horribly shy. "I-I'm F-F-Fel-" She stopped herself and remembered. "I'm Fera," she said, starting over and shaking her head a bit. "Wh-where are you guys going?" she asked, shuffling her feet.

"Dining hall," Ruth said bluntly. "Breakfast in ten minutes."

"O-oh, th-that sounds good," Fera said, then feeling stupid. _What kind of thing to say was that?_ she thought. "U-um, um, w-would it b-be okay if I went with you?" she stuttered.

"Sure thing!" Linda chirped. "We'll introduce you to some of the other kids! …Fern, was it?"

"Fera," she replied, blushing and embarrassed for picking such an obscure name. _Then again,_ she thought,_ what kind of name is Kaarlo?_

"So, what's your special skill?" Linda asked abruptly, nudging the young girl in the side with her elbow.

"S-special skill?" Fera parroted.

"Something you're good at," Ruth clarified. "The reason why you're here."

Kaarlo chuckled. "Come on, you guys," he said, speaking for the first time. His voice had a strong accent, very rough and rolling, like rocks crushing together. "She probably doesn't know yet, she just got here, ja?"

"Oh, yeah," Linda replied, crossing her arms and pouting as they walked. "You've got a point."

_Whew!_ Fera thought happily. _Saved by the ski cap. _"So, um," she stammered, "what are your guys' special skills?"

"I'm good at drawing," Linda said, pulling out a pencil from inside one of her pigtails. "I always have a pencil with me in case the feeling strikes me."

"Numbers," was all Ruth said, placing headphones in her ear and turning on a walkman that was clipped on to her jeans.

"I'm an aggressive interrogator!" Kaarlo blurted out, rather loudly. A loud, "Shh!" from a neighboring student made him laugh to himself quietly and he lowered his voice. "At least, that's what Roger says I'm going to be. I can make people talk."

"Make them talk?" Fera was confused.

"Why do you have that bear?" Kaarlo suddenly asked, golden-brown eyes glittering.

"N-no reason," Fera whimpered, clutching it. Why did he need to know that all of a sudden?

"Answer me," Kaarlo said.

"Oh, great, he's on a roll now," Linda muttered, slapping her face and dragging her hand downward.

"Wh-why should I?" Fera responded harshly, almost snapping. "It's none of your – ouch!!" Kaarlo had leapt at her, biting down hard on her hand. "Ow, ow, ow, that hurts, you big jerk!" He would not let go, no matter how hard she shook her hand and tried to pull away. "Stop it!"

"He won't let go until you answer him," Ruth said, bobbing her head to the beat of her music.

"Ouch! Okay, okay, okay!" she whined, trying to pry his jaw off her hand. "It makes me feel safe, okay?!"

Kaarlo let go of her pale skin and licked his chops. "Satisfactory answer."

Fera's expression became one of utter disgust and she wiped her hand on her pants. "Gross!" she squealed. "You got spit all over my hand!"

"Extreme measures get good results," Kaarlo replied, shrugging and adjusting his cap.

Fera bit her bottom lip. "That's just disgusting," she said. "Seriously."

"You think so," Kaarlo said, "but I got you to answer me. I'm not going to stop using that method since it works every time." He sneered and Fera turned her head away, face burning with shame.

When the children got to the dining hall, a few kids were already there. Dilan was among them and upon seeing Fera he smiled brightly and wave enthusiastically. "Hey, F! Come on, over here!"

Fera grinned and walked over, taking small, quick steps. She tilted her head backwards to look at D's face. "Good morning," she greeted.

"Mornin'!" D chirped. "Hey, let me introduce you to the two M's." Waving his arm, clad in the exact same green flannel jacket as yesterday (had he slept in it?) he shouted, "Matt! Mello! Get your little butts over here!"

A blonde boy dressed in a long-sleeved black t-shirt and black pants got up from leaning on the wall and tromped over. He had an angry expression on his face and his bright blue eyes flashed with defiance. "What do you want, D?" he snapped. Close behind him, a boy with brownish-red hair and a striped sweater had his eyes glued to a gray Game Boy Color. "Hey," the new boy said, furiously tapping the buttons and biting his tongue, the tip of which protruded from his lips. The sight made Fera giggle a bit.

"Fera, the blonde kid's Mello," Dilan said, patting the shorter boy on the head. "And the little runt who won't _look up from his game_," he said, "is Matt." Matt shot a quick glance up and smiled (it looked like a forced, trained reaction rather than a genuine smile) and went straight back to his game, the beeping and cheesy music enrapturing him. "Guys, this is our latest victim – I mean, this is the new kid," D joked, brown eyes twinkling.

Mello fixed a glare of annoyance on Fera. "Don't piss me off," was all he said, "or you'll be sorry."

"Gee, that was nice," Fera muttered under her breath. Or at least, she thought she did. But apparently not, because Mello shot her an even nastier glare.

"What was that?" he spat.

Fera's blue eyes widened. "Jeez, what's got you so ticked off?"

"You," Mello responded. "I don't like you."

"What?" she asked, incredulous. "I haven't even been near you for five minutes!"

"I don't like your aura," he responded, shoving his hands into his pockets and biting his cheek. "Or whatever the hell it's called. All I know is there's something about you I don't like."

"Well, I don't like you much right now, either," Fera responded. "You're being a jerk for no reason."

"Fuck off," Mello growled.

"Hey!" Dilan said sternly, finally intervening. "Mello, watch your mouth."

"Oh, for God's sake, you're not my _mom_, D," Mello groaned, rolling his eyes sarcastically. "I can say whatever the hell I want and nobody have better give me shit about it."

Dilan shook his head. "What are we gonna do with you, Mello…?" he muttered, rubbing his temples. "You two can go now."

"Tch," was all Mello had to say before making a swift turn and storming away. Matt looked up, a bit surprised looking.

"Better follow 'im," Matt said, saving and pausing his game. With a click of the switch, he jammed it into his pocket. He then turned back to the other two Wammy students and looked directly at Fera. "See ya later, F," he said before taking off. "Mello! Wait up, man!" Fera laughed again.

"Sorry about Mello," D said, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "He's usually not like that. I guess he just woke up with a stick up his butt or something." Fera laughed once again, feeling better after that confrontation with Mello.

"Is Matt always that quiet?" she asked shyly, looking out in the hallway to catch a glimpse of him running.

"Actually he's usually silent," the gray-haired teen responded. "You're lucky you got so many words out of him today."

A flash of white in the corner of Fera's eye caught her attention. It was the boy with white hair from yesterday (Near, was it?), holding a rectangular box under his arm. He took a seat in the corner and opened it, revealing a set of puzzle pieces. At first Fera thought they were upside down, but they were actually blank upon closer inspection.

Shyly, she took a few steps forward until she was closer to him. "Um, h-hi," she attempted to say cheerfully, but it came out more like a squeak.

"Good morning," Near replied, not looking up from his puzzle. He was putting the pieces together effortlessly.

Fera watched his milky white hand move with the puzzle pieces for a few moments before asking, "U-um, is it okay if I watch you?"

"…Okay," Near said, still not looking at her.

Fera took a seat next to him, her sweater brushing up against his perfectly white pajamas. He didn't even glance over at her from the touch, and so Fera took the opportunity to inspect his face. He had a very placid look on his face, his short white bangs hanging in front of his eyes, but his eyes, such a dark blue they were almost black, followed each puzzle piece with the gaze of a predator stalking its prey. Fera drew in a quick breath, hoping it wasn't too loud (but even if it was, he didn't seem to mind) and looked back down at the puzzle.

"U-um, h-how come your puzzle's blank?" the brunette asked shyly. She didn't want to break his concentration but the question was nagging at her.

"I choose it to be that way," Near responded. "I can solve it. In fact, I've solved this one about ten times by now."

Fera's eyes widened. "Gosh, really? I couldn't do that," she admitted, in absolute awe. "You must be really, really smart." _Gah! Idiot, that's why they're all here in the first place!_ she thought, mentally shoving her foot in her mouth.

Near didn't respond, although Fera could have sworn she saw a little smirk cross his face. However, even if she had seen it, it was gone in a flash, that soft, placidly calm look overtaking his features once again. Fera watched how in what seemed like no time, the puzzle was solved. The white pieces came together like magic, fitting perfectly together with no mistakes. He knew exactly what he was doing.

When the puzzle was finished for all but one corner, Fera noticed that some of those pieces had traces of black on them. She didn't ask aloud, for in a matter of a few minutes, they all came together to form one letter, an L.

"Why is there an L on your puzzle?" Fera asked, curious.

Near's head snapped up in her direction, dark eyes wide as saucers. "You mean to tell me that you don't know who L is?" he asked, absolutely shocked.

Fera clutched her bear, her soft fingers digging into the cloth. "N-n-no," she whimpered.

Near's mouth hung open for a second. "L," he said, gaining his composure and putting the puzzle back into the box, "is the world's greatest detective. He has solved and continues to solve only the most difficult cases. And L is the goal of every Wammy child."

"The…goal?"

But before Near could answer, the cook, Sama, came into the room clapping her tough, worn hands. "Come on, if you wanna eat, sit your little butts down!" she called (not shouted, for there were some children who were still sleeping upstairs). Fera hadn't noticed yesterday, but Sama looked like a very strong, tough woman. It would be unwise to cross her, she decided, and took a seat at the table.

Well, she tried to, anyway.

Mello and Matt had come back into the room and shoved her out of the way, knocking her to the floor. " 'Scuse me," Mello muttered.

"H-hey!" she whined, picking her bear up (it had been knocked out of her hands). "Th-that wasn't nice!"

Mello didn't respond, swinging his legs over the seat and completely ignoring her. Fera pouted slightly and walked over to D. "U-um, c-can I sit with you?" she asked shyly.

The gray-haired boy grinned, taking a hand and ruffling her already coarse, messy hair with it. "Sure thing, Little Bear," he joked. "Hey, Little Bear! I like it!" He laughed pulling out the chair next to him so Fera could climb up into it. Unfortunately, Fera's small size made it nigh impossible to sit in it normally, and so she had to put her feet on one of the legs and push herself up onto the cushion. D laughed, ruffling her messy hair again.

"Havin' a little trouble, Little Bear?" he chuckled. Fera grinned sheepishly, clutching the teddy bear that had given her her new nickname.

"Y-yeah, just a little," she admitted. She then had a thought and asked, "Um, Dilan…what are we having?" She was very quiet when asking that, practically whispering in his ear.

"Oh, right!" D chirped. "Usually at this hour Sama puts out cereal and stuff. Don't worry."

Fera sighed. "Okay, good. I was just wondering." She sunk back into the chair, holding her toy bear close to her, and exhaled deeply. For a moment, she remembered when her father would cook for her in the morning, wearing a pink apron to make her laugh, but then she shook her head violently to banish the thought.

Sama came back in, carrying at least ten boxes of cereal. Wide-eyed, Fera tried not to stare, although she wondered how one woman could carry so much in her arms. After observing the children scramble for the boxes, dumping their dry, colorful contents into the bowls in front of them, Fera followed suit. Although, as she ate, she couldn't help but feel as though she was being watched…

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**There you have it, chapter 2! Please review, I understand if you think this chapter is a little boring.**

**- Winter Poison**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi again! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or added MotM to their Story Alert. It really, really makes my day when people do this. I'm so glad I'm able to write something that you all will enjoy! The next up date might be slower, I'm having a hard time with that chapter...Writer's block is a mean, cruel woman. (Tch, men are not half as cruel as women.) But I digress. Please enjoy this chapter!**

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After breakfast was completed, the children all went to their morning classes, except for Fera. She aimlessly wandered around Wammy's House, exploring the hallways and talking with herself occasionally. It was immensely huge on the inside, which was surprising to her. It had already looked big on the outside, but she supposed that she just hadn't been in a building this big before.

_And now I'm living here…_she thought, not sure how to feel.

The white teddy bear provided as a comfort for her when she walked down the dark hallways. She felt so small in them, but having that bear near her heart made her feel like she would be safe. At least for now.

A pair of footsteps behind her made her jump and squeak. She turned around and looked up to see Roger standing over her and she squeezed the bear. "G-good morning," she said.

"Good morning, Fera," he said, a weak smile on his face. The old man looked as though he had just woken up. "What are you doing up so early? You don't have any classes yet."

She nodded. "I-I know, I just wanted to look around, that's all. Th-that's okay, right?"

"Of course," Roger said, yawning and covering his mouth. "Just don't get yourself too lost."

"Right," she muttered, taking off like a bat out of hell and running as fast as she could in the opposite direction. She tucked the bear safely under her arm and tore down the hall, turning a corner with urgency. Pressing her back against the wall, she sank down into the floor and petted the synthetic fur gently. "I think he doesn't like me," she murmured. "What do you think?"

The bear did not respond. It simply stared at her, black plastic eyes reflecting artificial light and the sewn-on expression permanently smiling.

"Figured as much from you."

A bell rang, making Fera jump again. She snapped up into a standing position, staring at the door down the hallway. It opened, and Mello was the first one to walk out. "Hey, you!" he spat. "What the fuck are you doing here?" He walked quickly over to her, lording over her and making her shrink. "Huh?!"

"N-nothing!" she squealed. "I- H-hey!" she hissed. "I'm not scared of you! You're just a big meanie!" She stood back up straight, glaring at him.

"Aww, I'm a meanie, now, am I?" Mello sneered, a few more children walked up behind him. "Why don't you go tell that to your mommy? Oh, yeah, that's right!" he added. "She's _dead_, just like your daddy-dearest, too!"

Fera bit her lip, scowling at him. "Shut up!"

"Ohh!" the other boys jeered. "She's got some fight in her!"

Mello locked his gaze with her for a moment, then scoffed. "I'm not wasting my time on a runt like you," he said. "Come on, guys, let's go." The rest of them laughed, following Mello as he walked down the hallway. Fera growled under her breath and ran away back where she had come from.

"_Oh, that's right! She's __**dead**__, just like your daddy-dearest, too!"_

…_Daddy?_

She blinked back a few tears, remembering being held up on his shoulders…Remembering being swung around in the air, laughing and smiling…Remembering being driven to school that day…_That day…_

She swallowed, still running, running as fast and as hard as she could until she slammed into something. Something soft and white. "Hm?"

Fera looked up, wiping the water from her eyes. She gasped. "O-oh, Near! Near, I'm sorry! I-I couldn't see you, I'm sorry! Are you hurt? I'm sorry, I-I really didn't mean to, I'm sorry…"

Near lazily twirled a lock of his hair, his expression blank. "I'm fine," was all he said.

She shook her head, squeezing the bear's stomach. "I-I-I'm r-really sorry, Near, I'm sorry, I-I just…"

"It's okay."

"N-no, no, really, it's my fault, I'm sorr-sorry…" She began to cry again, feeling stupid and horribly embarrassed. "Look, I'm sorry, I-I-I won't bother you again."

"Don't worry about it," Near replied, walking past her. "I suppose I'll be seeing you again some other time. Good day."

Fera's cries turned into mere sniffles, turning and watching this quiet, calm boy. He intrigued her, made her curious.

"H-hey, w-wait a sec!" she whimpered, following him. He stopped, still twirling his hair. "Wh-where're you headed?" she asked shakily, still chasing away her tears.

He shrugged. "My room. I don't have class for a while."

"C-can I go with you?" she asked, very quietly. Near put his hand to his ear, unable to hear her. "C-can I-I j-join you?"

"…Okay," Near responded, leading the way. "Thank you for asking. Most people just follow me."

"Uh…" She felt warmth rise to her cheeks and a tickling sensation in her stomach. "You're welcome. It just seemed polite, that's all…"

Near shrugged, still twirling his hair and walking casually. He remained silent, putting his hand on the banister and Fera noticed that only his fingertips showed. He was practically swimming in his clothes. She would have asked why he didn't wear things that actually fit him properly, but she decided against it, thinking it would be too much an intrusion of privacy.

As they walked up the stairs, she also noticed that he never asked any questions about her (save for that one about L). He seemed…private, if nothing else. She wasn't sure if "shy" was the right word to use, but he was definitely quiet.

He opened a door with a large "N" on it and revealed a room much like hers, except his was filled with toys. She held her breath for a moment, covering her shocked expression with her bear. "You like toys a lot, huh?"

"They give my hands something to do," he responded, not really answering the question. He picked up a puzzle, another blank one, and dumped its contents onto the floor. He sat down in an odd position, one leg on the floor and the other tucked near his chest, and began to assemble it quietly. She took a seat beside him, like she had last time, and simply watched him. He was so _quiet._ He had no music playing, he didn't hum, didn't even breathe loudly. Absolute silence.

But watching his swift fingers assemble that puzzle…that was something else. He moved quickly, with purpose. It was almost as if she could hear the clicks of the pieces coming together, which normally would have been impossible since they were made of cardboard, but the effect was there. He was simply a master at this game, and so young! Certainly not more than her age, if not younger. He certainly looked younger.

The curtains in the room, she finally noticed as the minutes went by, were mostly closed. _Well, that makes some sense,_ she thought. _He __**is**__ really pale…_Casually, she put her hand next to the one Near wasn't using – not touching, but just close to it. _He's even paler than me!_

"Done," Near suddenly replied. It shocked Fera out of her dream world and back into reality, making her jump a bit. He didn't seem to notice. Instead, he went straight to putting it back in the box.

"C-can I help you?" she asked. Near looked at her for a moment and then nodded silently, directing his gaze back on the white pieces. Fera shyly reached over and picked a few up, putting them in like he was. It seemed like that in no time at all, they were finished putting the pieces away. Near picked the box up and put it back on the shelf.

"Thank you for the help," he said, twirling a lock of his hair. "I have class to attend now." He turned toward the door and walked out. Fera scrambled to her feet and followed him blindly.

"So, um, what kind of classes do you take?" she asked, clutching her bear.

"Hm?" Near asked, not turning around. He kept walking, hair tied in fingers.

"…Um, n-never mind," she responded, going the other way, hiding her face behind her bear. She heard Near mutter to himself a bit, but didn't look back to see him.

* * *

And so, the day passed on uneventfully from there. She went to her room after dinner (by which all classes were finished) and got herself into bed, hugging her teddy bear close. She almost looked at the door waiting for her father to come in and make her say her prayers, but then she remembered that that world, that life, was now long gone.

It was about 11 'o'clock when she heard something come in her bedroom. Shyly, she opened one eye and looked, but it was so very dark. She couldn't have seen anything even if she had opened the other one. She thought she heard some footsteps, whispering, then…

_HONK!_

"Ah!" she squealed, falling out of bed and covering her ears.

"Haha! Look who's not scared!"

She knew and hated that voice. That mean sneer, that cruel laugh…

"Mello!" she snapped. "Get out! A boy shouldn't be in a girl's room, 'specially at night!"

"Heh, like you can do anything about it!" another boy sneered. She couldn't see his face. Another boy kicked her in the side and she wailed.

"Ow! That hurts!"

"That's what you get for being snappy with me, newbie," Mello growled. "Now you'd better watch yourself from now on, got it?"

Anger rose from within Fera. "Hey, you can't treat me like that!" she squealed, scrambling to her feet. "I-I'll tell Roger if you don't get out now!"

"Awww, what, the little girl with her little teddy beawr can't do it on her own?" another boy, making a deep, mocking voice called.

"Heh-heh, yeah, you couldn't take Mello out!"

"Come on," Mello challenged. "You wanna fight? I'll win."

She growled, about to throw her bear away, but then she remembered that if she threw any punches, she'd get in trouble. "I don't want to fight," she said.

"Then get out!" one of the boys sneered, and they all laughed.

"Hey, you can't tell me to leave! This is my room!"

"What're you gonna do about it?"

"…" They were right. She couldn't do anything. And so, hugging her bear as tight as possible, she ran out, tearing down the hallway.

At that moment, Fera learned the meaning of "shame." It was a horrible feeling, knowing weakness and being forced to face that you have it. Feeling angry and sad and hopeless. And so, once again, tears leapt to her eyes. And feeling this way, she remembered…

"_Don't cry, sweetie," her father was saying. "It's not that bad."_

"_B-but I got a B+ on my art project, Daddy!" she wailed, sniffing and wiping her face. She was about five years old and had come back that day from kindergarten. "I tried my best but- but-"_

"_You cry too much, honey," he said, picking her up and swinging her around. "Who did you draw?"_

_She sniffled. "You, and me, and Mommy, but she's in the back. See?"_

_He looked at the paper. "You know what? This is a great drawing, Felicity. I'll put it up on the fridge, okay?" He took a magnet and stuck it to the refrigerator, a smile on his face. "There. See? Don't cry so much."_

Fera stumbled in place, leaning on the wall. She was far away from her room now. _Don't cry so much, Fera,_ she told herself. _That's what Daddy said._

She wanted to go back to her room and get some sleep, but the thought of those boys waiting to torture her scared her awake. And so, she decided to wander around the second floor of Wammy's House.

Fera brushed a hand against her coarse brown hair. She had to admit, Wammy's was scarier-looking in the dark, all alone. "Hello?" she whispered, hoping someone was around. She got no answer. Fera sighed, adjusted her bear, and continued walking. "Guess we're alone…" she murmured, patting the bear on its head.

She continued walking, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. Her ice-blue eyes flitted about in the darkness, looking at the paintings on the walls and grinning a bit. All were pictures of open countryside, which she loved. Her father had always promised her that he would take her to his father's farm one day, but…She violently shook her head, shaking the thought from her mind. _Shouldn't think about Daddy,_ Fera thought. _Or else you'll cry again._

Fera had absolutely no idea what time it was now, but she saw that it must have been late, because the bright full moon shone through a window. _Oh, look! It's got one of those cushion-things you can sit on…Wait, is someone sitting on it?_

"Hello?" she asked quietly, approaching slowly. It was a small shape on the seat, one leg hanging off it and swinging absently. A mess of light hair shook a bit as the person turned to look at her. It was hard to see due to the bright moonlight contrasting against the darkness in the hallway.

"Hello," the person replied. That voice was familiar…

"Near?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"

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**Muahaha, cliffhanger. Please give me your thoughts on this chapter, I really want to know what you think and, most importantly, how I can improve as a writer! Thank you for reading!**

**-Winter Poison  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**I am, so, so sorry that this chapter is ridiculously short. I was on top of all my other chapters and now, after this, I have nothing. I had to force myself to write the rest of this chapter. T_T I keep getting distracted by ideas for fanfics for REPO! The Genetic Opera. Forgive me. /3 That being said, I hope you all enjoy this anyway. I hope.**

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"_Near?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"_

The white-haired boy looked up from his puzzle and shrugged. "I could ask you the same."

Fera bit her lip, hugging the bear close to her. "Oh, I, uh…" She didn't want to admit that she was being picked on – that only happened to weak kids, right? She didn't want to appear weak, especially not in front of Near. After all, Near was always so calm, so cool-headed…strong, maybe. She wasn't sure. (Come to think of it, she wasn't sure about much of anything as of late.)

"Hm?"

"I-I just couldn't sleep, that's all," she lied. Eyeing the cushion he was sitting on, she asked, "Um, c-can I join you?"

"…Okay," he said, moving back a little, hugging his knee to his chest. Fera took a shy seat on the edge of the squishy red cushion.

"So how come you're up so late?" she asked again.

Near shrugged again. "Same as you."

"Oh." She brought her knees to her chest, squishing her bear in between her legs and her chest. "…How can you solve that puzzle in the dark?" Fera inquired, shyly brushing back her brown hair.

Near once again shrugged, taking his free hand and twirling a lock of hair with it. "I dunno. I just can."

'Oh…That's cool," she replied, smiling.

His dark blue eyes finally looked up at her. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I know I couldn't do that."

"Hm." He looked back down, expression unreadable, and began putting his puzzle together again. Fera simply watched him, the rest of her face hidden behind her stuffed bear. It was fascinating, watching him put those puzzles together with such ease. He barely had to look at the pieces. He just put his fingers around the edges and knew exactly where it belonged.

"…So, um…" She adjusted the bear so that it would hide her face a little more. "Wh-what kind of classes do you take?"

"Hm? My classes?" he asked. "Well…Algebra, Statistics, Logic, Intro to Deduction…Things like that."

Fera's mouth hung open, so much so that she tasted some of the synthetic fur. "Those sound so hard!"

"Not really. I could probably be in Advanced Logic if I wanted to."

Her eyes were open wide as saucers. Had her bear not been snug and safe between her legs and chest, she probably would have dropped it. "Gosh…I could never do that."

"Really? Most of those are standards for Wammy students."

"S-standard?" she repeated, incredulous. "No way! I can't do things like that!"

"Hm." He shrugged again (he had a habit of doing that when talking to her, she noticed) and put another piece of his puzzle in. "Well, I suppose you're just not used to the Wammy life yet. That's all."

"…Yeah. Maybe that's it," she replied, somewhat convinced. "I've just gotta get used to it."

A few more moments passed when they heard loud footsteps on the floor. Fera gasped, inhaling the fake fur. "I-is that one of the grownups?"

Near nodded silently, quickly putting his puzzle away. "Good night," he whispered, getting up and going back to his room.

"N-night," she replied, dashing back to her own. She leapt under the covers and slammed her head into the pillow pretending that she had been asleep all this time, shaking a bit. Roger poked his head in and she closed her eyes as tight as she could. She heard a light metallic clinking noise, then the door closing. Internally, she breathed a sigh of relief and fell swiftly asleep.

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The next morning, after breakfast, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder on the shoulder. "Hm? Oh, good morning, Roger," she replied, sounding tired.

"Good morning," he replied, more like an instinctual response than an actual greeting. "We have to choose your classes."

"O-oh, ok," she replied shakily. She hopped down from the chair and followed him as he left the room. Nervously, she pulled on one of the bear's paws as she walked. After following him down the dark hallway, Roger stopped in front of one door, one without any lettering, which set it apart from the others. _That, or it's a closet,_ she joked with herself.

The office was fairly plain. A carpet on the hardwood floor, a bookshelf behind his desk, a chair behind it for him and a smaller one for the students in front. Very simple. Roger sat down in the armchair and Fera sat in the one in the front. She adjusted her weight awkwardly and looked up at him shyly. Roger sifted through a drawer for a moment before pulling out a book.

"Pick your classes from here," he instructed, opening to a page that read "New Students" at the top. Fera took the book and read through it, her eyes widening.

"U-um, excuse me," she squeaked.

"Yes?"

"A-are you sure these are for kids my age?" she asked, looking through the list one more time. "I don't know any of this at all."

"Oh, I assure you, this is a normal curriculum," Roger replied, not looking at her but instead looking through a file. "Just pick what you like best."

Fera bit her lip, feeling unsure, and asked, "H-how many do I have to take?"

"Hm? Oh, five at a minimum. I'd encourage you take more, though."

_Five, ok…what're the five easiest ones here?_ She took the pen he offered to her and circled five exactly – she just knew she couldn't handle more than five, nor could she handle any hard classes. (Or, a part of her nudged, was she just too _lazy_ to try?) After finishing her circling, she handed it back to Roger, he read her choices aloud.

"Intro to Algebra, Basic Communications, Intro to Technology, Intro to Analysis, and…Creative Writing?" Roger seemed surprised by the last choice. Fera stared back at him emotionlessly. It had been the first one she had circled – how could anyone fail Creative Writing? "Well, I suppose we all need a hobby," he muttered. Fera flinched a bit.

Roger filled out some papers and then stood up. "You'll begin your classes tomorrow, Fera. For now, you're free to go."

"Th-thank you," she said, promptly getting up and leaving. Closing the door, she buried her face into the bear. "I dunno about you," she asked it, "but I'm really scared right now."

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**Once again, I am so sorry about this chapter. D: It's ridiculously short and has so little substance, it's like I threw you guys a bone with a few muscles on it and expected you to eat it. Gah, I promise the next chapter will be much better.**

**-Winter Poison  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, everyone! I'm back on a roll here! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, it honestly just makes my day to know I've written something people will enjoy. Also, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to FilipinaVii**. **She drew a set of sketches for MotM that are just...amazing. Blew my mind. Please go to her deviantART page to take a look at all her work, because it's truly awesome.**

**All right, now that all that's said and done, please enjoy this chapter!**

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Fera's feet were swimming in the jeans she was wearing as she padded down the hallway. Wondering for a split second if they had accidentally grabbed a pair of her father's pants when he was in the hospital, she pulled up the waistband to keep them from falling off. By now, she had learned that boys had no place viewing any girl's underwear.

For a while after getting her classes prepared by Roger, she was aimlessly wandering around Wammy's House, somewhat bored. However, that didn't last for too long once she approached the common room, recognizing a familiar ski cap. Linda, Kaarlo, and Ruth were sitting on the floor in a triangle, pieces of paper taped to their foreheads, talking and laughing loudly.

"Ok, ok," Kaarlo asked. "Am I old?"

"Yes!" Linda giggled. Fera grinned and stepped a little closer, it seemed like a fun game.

"Ok, I'm old," Kaarlo mused, "I'm a man…Do I get grouchy a lot?"

"Yes!" the two girls replied, putting their hands to their mouths and laughing.

"Oh, I'm Roger?"

"Yep, you got it!" Linda said, laughing and clapping. Fera giggled a bit too at the description of Roger. "Oh, hey, Cara!"

"Um, my name's Fera," she corrected gently, but still waved. _I think I liked it better when she thought my name was Fern…_

"Oh, yeah, right," Linda replied, brushing it off. "Wanna play with us?"

"Ah, sure, okay," Fera replied, walking over to the group. Kaarlo and Ruth scooted over a bit, making some room for her. She sat down on the off-white carpet, placing her teddy bear neatly in her lap.

"Ok everyone, papers off, we're starting over!" Linda chirped, pulling off a piece of paper from her forehead. Kaarlo reached behind him and grabbed a ski cap that looked much the same as the one he was wearing, except this one was green and filled to the brim with papers. After the three had been placed in the hat, Kaarlo began to shake it vigorously, biting his lip with his little fang-like teeth as he did so.

"How do we play?" Fera asked.

"We stick a piece of paper to each other's foreheads," Kaarlo explained. Fera still couldn't get used to his thick, foreign accent. "They all have names on them, and you ask yes or no questions about the name on your head. We use students and staff here."

"Oh, b-but I don't know everyone that well yet," Fera responded, worried that she wouldn't be able to play.

"We'll give you one you know," Linda said, smiling a bit. "Don't worry."

"Ah, th-thanks," Fera replied gratefully, squeezing one of her bear's ears. Kaarlo stopped shaking the bag and stuck a paper to Ruth's head. He then passed the cap to her, and she did the same for Linda. Linda looked around inside the bag for a minute.

"Hmm…You think she could figure this one out?" she asked, showing the scrap of paper to Ruth and Kaarlo.

"Yeah," Ruth replied, monotone. "She knows that one." Kaarlo nodded with her.

"Ok," Linda replied, taping the scrap to Fera's forehead. "Now put something on Kaarlo's head."

"R-right," Fera said, grabbing one paper and putting it on his ski cap. She didn't like having the paper on her face, it blocked her eyes and made it difficult to see.

"You can ask first," Linda offered.

"Um….ok," Fera said. "Um..Am I a boy or a girl?"

"Yes or no questions only," Kaarlo replied.

"Oh, right, I'm sorry," she replied, embarrassed. "Um…Am I a boy?"

"Yeah," Ruth said. She took her walkman out of her pocket and turned it on, sticking one earbud into her ear.

"Um…Am I around my age?"

"Kinda," Linda replied, then looked at the other two for assurance. "Um, right?"

"I…guess?" Kaarlo said, his lack of knowledge clearly showing. Ruth just waved it off, her head bopping to the somewhat audible beats from her tape.

"Um…Okay…" Fera replied, racking her brain for questions. "Um…Have we met?"

"Yeah, definitely," Kaarlo responded, playing with the green ski cap in his hands.

"Do we get along well?"

"You're practically best friends already," Linda answered, grinning.

"Oh!" Fera exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "I'm Near?"

The three all just stared at her with blank expressions. "…No…"

"R-really?" she squeaked, feeling her face warm up.

"Not even close…" Kaarlo replied, his eyes bugging out of his skull. "You're friends with Near?"

"Near has friends?" Linda asked.

Fera picked up her bear and pressed it against her face, sure her cheeks were beet red. How embarrassing! "Uh- um, o-okay…Uh…Am I tall?"

"Yeah, especially compared to you," Linda replied, still looking puzzled by her previous answer.

"O-oh, um, okay…Am I Dilan?" she asked.

"Yeah." The reply was dull, lifeless. Fera took off the paper and put it on the ground, burying her face in the bear.

"You may want to do something about that redness in your face," Kaarlo suggested. "That's what my _isä _died from. His face got red and then he collapsed."

"H-huh?"

"My father," Kaarlo said.

"Oh…My father died from…" Come to think of it…Fera didn't know how her father died. Only that there was some accident. She wanted closure all of a sudden. "Excuse me," she said, standing up. "I…I wanna ask Roger something."

"'Kay," Linda replied, not looking at her this time. "See ya, Fernie."

"Fera," she corrected, heading back towards Roger's office, white bear in tow. Surely, if anyone knew the details, Roger would, right? She walked down the hallway and was about to knock on Roger's door when he heard his voice.

"Mello, listen to me!" he was shouting. He sounded angry, making Fera move away from the door.

"I don't have to listen to you or to anyone!" the boy retorted. She heard something in the office being knocked down and break. "All I care about is being the best! And I'll do whatever it takes to get that!"

"Mello," Roger said, sounding annoyed and tired. "If that is all you care about, really, then why were you in Fera's room teasing her last night?"

"I wasn't," he denied.

Fera heard metallic clinking, then another, louder one. "Then explain to me why Sama heard a loud 'honk' in the middle of the night, and why I found this on the floor in her room?"

Mello didn't respond to that.

"Mello."

He grumbled something, and the rest of the conversation was inaudible to Fera. She felt bad for eavesdropping, so she stood against the wall, staring at one of the paintings, hugging her bear to her chest. It lasted for a few more minutes, then Roger opened the door. "Now think about what I said, all right?"

"Whatever, old man," Mello growled. His gaze shifted to where Fera was and he shot her a nasty look, but said nothing as he stormed past her. Fera stuck her tongue out at him for a moment.

"Fera?" Roger asked. "I'm surprised to see you again. What brings you?"

"Oh!" she squeaked, turning to face him. "Hello, Roger. Um…I had a question for you."

"Go ahead," he replied, crossing his arms casually.

"Um, well…" Fera started shyly. "H-how…How did my father die, Roger?"

His eyes widened. "Your father? Um, well…You see, he…" He sighed. "Fera, come into my office." He stepped inside and Fera followed him. "Close the door," the old man instructed, and Fera quietly did so. They took the seats they had been in when arranging Fera's classes, but this time, the mood was very serious. Fera gripped her jeans with one hand, biting her lip.

"Fera," Roger began, hands clasped and eyes closed. "You know you and your father were on the 'bad side of town,' correct?"

"Th-that's what Daddy said a lot," she replied. "He said I couldn't go for a walk without him."

"Right," he replied. "Well…While your father was working in the thrift store, a man came in and…well, he shot your father."

Silence. Fera's heart stopped beating for a moment. A bird screeched outside. "You're joking," she replied quietly, gripping her bear as tightly as she could.

"I'm not, unfortunately." Roger kept his eyes shut tight.

Fera opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but no words came out. She picked up her bear and turned it so that she was staring into its plastic eyes, as if they held an answer, a truth, a reason. But all she saw was her own shock reflected back at her. "H-how…How could this happen?"

Roger sighed. "Because, Fera, there are cold, cruel people in this world."

She sighed, pressing her face against the bear's. "…Daddy…"

And the room was quiet again. The silence ate at Fera. Her father, her daddy…shot? No, no, it couldn't be true. Her father was a kind person, always caring…

"It's not fair," she whimpered.

"Pardon?" Roger asked, unable to hear.

"It's not fair!" she repeated loudly, tiny tears leaking from her eyes. "D-Daddy didn't deserve to get shot! He didn't do anything wrong! I…!" She broke down in front of him, dropping the bear to the floor and holding her head in her hands, crying and shaking. Roger rose from his desk and patted her on the shoulder, but didn't move to do or say anything else. Truth be told, he was growing immune to the pain these children went through.

After sitting there for a few minutes, Fera finally calmed down enough to pick her bear up. "Roger," she said quietly.

"Hm?"

"I won't let that happen again," she swore. "No other kid is going to lose their dad. I'll…I'll grow up to fight that. I swear."

"I'm sure you will," Roger replied with false assurance. "Now go on, you should go back to the other children."

She sniffled and slipped out of the chair, sadly plodding out of his office. Roger watched her go in silence.

Fera closed his door behind her, wiping her nose with her sleeve and sniffing. Her whimpers could still be heard, though they were dying down. She walked back towards her room, intending to lay down and maybe take a nap to wash the bad feeling away from her. That is, until she tripped over something and feel flat on her face, her bear knocked out of her hands for the second time that day.

"Oof!" she squealed, hitting the floor. "Ow…What did I just-?" She turned and saw a striped shirt, the sleeve moving and rubbing where the head would go. "Oh! Matt?" she squeaked, moving and sitting up.

Matt adjusted the goggles on his face. "Damn, I lost," he mumbled, looking down at the screen for his game. It took him a moment before he acknowledged Fera's presence. "Oh, hi, Fera."

"A-are you all right?" she asked, nervous.

Matt just leaned back up against the wall, taking a lollipop out of his pocket and unwrapping it. "Yeah, I'm fine." He popped it into his mouth and started playing his game again.

"Oh, well…Ok." She stood up and brushed herself up, then ran over to her room. "See you, Matt."

"See ya." _Beep bip boop zap! _"Not agaaain!"

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Fera closed the door to her room and jumped on top of her bed, burying her face into her pillow. However, instead of crying as one would expect from a child, she simply fell asleep for an hour, escaping from the outside world. She didn't dream of anything, just blackness. It felt more like she had just blinked rather than slept. Only the clock told her that she had fallen asleep.

With a yawn, she stretched and patted her hand around on her bed. To her surprise, it wasn't there. _That's weird,_ she thought. _Where could I have put it?_ Fera hopped off the bed and looked all over her room, thinking she might have kicked it somewhere in her sleep, but it was nowhere to be found. Her bear was missing.

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**Dun dun dunnnn! Oh, cliffhangers. (Giving me more time to think of something brilliant. (shifty eyes)) I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, please tell me what you think!**

**-Winter Poison**


	6. Chapter 6

**This fanfiction...It will be the death of me, I swear it. Either trying to write these chapters will make my brain explode, or it'll be you reviewers stoning me outside my house because I didn't update fast enough. (sigh) Sorry about that. However, it's a longer chapter this time! Please enjoy! ^^**

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"Wh-where is it?!" she squealed, tearing apart her suitcase and looking through the unused drawers, looking for her lost bear. A wave of panic began to overcome her. What if someone was hurting it? What if they were writing mean things on it? Or- or what if they threw it away and she never found it again? That thought was the worst of all. That teddy was all she had left of her beloved father. If anything were to happen to it, well…

"Eek!" She opened her door and looked all over the hallway for anything white and fluffy. "Teddy bear?" she asked quietly, looking under a server in between her room and someone else's whom she hadn't met yet. Unfortunately, it wasn't there either. "Aw…Where could it be?" Fera's brown hair swished behind her, growing even messier than it already looked as she tore down the corner, keeping her eyes peeled. She even went to the place where she had tripped over Matt, hoping to find it there, but no such luck. It had been moved.

"Darn it!" she muttered, stamping one foot on the ground in utter frustration. "Where is it?"

"Hey, Little Bear!" a familiar voice called from behind her. Fera turned to face it.

"Dilan!" she squeaked. The older boy came over to her and patted her on the head, grinning.

"Where's your fluffy little friend?" he asked.

"I was gonna ask you that," she replied, looking down. "I tripped and dropped it here, but I guess I forgot it when I went to my room to take a nap. And now I can't find it anywhere!"

"I'll keep an eye out for it," Dilan promised. "It's a little weird to see you without it."

"I feel weird without it," she responded, turning and looking through a crack in someone's door. "Darn, it doesn't look like it's in there, either..."

"Maybe someone took it?" Dilan offered.

"Oh, no," she moaned, holding her head in her tiny hands. "I hope whoever did isn't doing anything mean to it…My daddy give that bear to me."

"We'll find it," the gray-haired teen assured, taking her by the arm. "Come on, let's look around."

Reluctantly, she followed. "Okay…I dunno if we're gonna find it…"

"We won't know until we look, right?" Fera found it odd that he was more enthusiastic about looking for the lost teddy than she was. Did that say something about her? She wasn't sure, and to be honest, she didn't really care all that much at that moment. All she wanted was to hug her teddy bear and never let it go. She felt like it was her only friend.

Dilan walked with a bounce in his step. He was so sure that they would find that teddy…Fera grinned a bit, speeding up to match him. Maybe they would.

They entered the common room and Dilan clapped his hands loudly. "Oi!" he shouted, and most of the children inside turned their heads, if nothing else. "Anyone here seen a cute, white, fluffy teddy bear? Fera's lost it."

"No, sorry," seemed to resonate from the group. Fera frowned. No one had seen it, at all?

Dilan looked down at her. "Don't worry, it's just one room. Let's keep looking."

Fera sighed, losing hope a bit. "Okay…" She took his hand and they walked around back toward the dining hall and kitchen.

Dilan poked his head into the kitchen, a dumb grin on his face. "Sama!" he chirped.

"What do you want?" she growled, turning away from the stove to face him, wooden ladle at her hip.

"Have you seen a white teddy bear around?"

"What do you think?" she retorted shortly. "I'm in this damn kitchen all day. You think I have time to look around for te-"

"It's Fera's," Dilan interrupted. "She really wants to find it."

"M-my daddy gave it to me," she squeaked.

Sama let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm sorry, kids, but I haven't seen it."

"Oh," Dilan replied. "Ok then. Sorry to bother you."

"Th-thank you!" Fera chirped as Dilan began to walk towards the dining hall. They asked every kid they saw and looked around the entire place for two hours, and not once did it turn up during that time. Fera was greatly disappointed.

She and Dilan walked into the dining hall once it was time for dinner. Her head hung low and her hands were shoved into her pockets. _I just want my bear back,_ she thought sadly. She felt like a part of her was missing without it. With a sigh, she was about to jump up in her chair when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Hey, you dropped this a while ago."

She turned around and her eyes met Matt's plastic goggles. In his hand was her teddy bear.

"Matt!" she chirped with joy, taking it out of his hands and hugging it to her chest. "You found it! Thank you!" Fera wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, filled with glee. "Thank you so, so, so much!"

Matt squirmed uncomfortable out of her embrace, scratching the back of his neck. "It was nothing," he said lowly, staring at the carpet, blushing a bit. "You just forgot it after you tripped over me. It's not like I searched the entire house for it."

"Matt, what are you doing over there?" Mello called from across the room. He sounded irritated, but Fera inwardly rolled her eyes. When _wasn't_ Mello irritated?

"Gotta go," Matt said to her. "See ya." He walked past her and went straight to Mello, like a dog answering his mater's call.

"All right, sit down, you lot!" Sama shouted, clapping her hands together as she walked in the room. Fera squeaked and jumped up in a chair next to Dilan again. She hugged her bear tight to her, grinning up at Dilan.

"M-Matt found it!" she said to him with joy.

Dilan smiled, ruffling her hair. "What'd I tell you? We found it!" He elbowed her shoulder. "Gotta trust the D."

"_The?_" she replied, giggling.

Dilan opened his arms in an exaggerated manner. "The one and only," he answered with false arrogance. Fera laughed.

Sama walked back into the room with a large bowl, hitting Dilan on the head with her spoon. "The one and only biggest _fathead_ I ever saw," she replied.

Dilan chuckled. "You know you like me, Sama," he said with a sing-song voice.

"Shut your mouth," the cook answered, looking like she was about to smack him. "I remember when you used to be as much of a troublemaker as Mello, so don't you start with me."

"I've cleaned up my act!" Fera enjoyed watching their playful banter. Even she could tell that for as much Sama tried to assert that she didn't like Dilan, it was obvious that she held a soft spot for him.

Sama hit him on the head again as she left to go get something else and Dilan chuckled, watching her go with a grin on his face.

"You guys seem like good friends," Fera remarked, tucking her bear under her chin.

Dilan laughed. "Heh," he said, shaking his head. "She's a fine one," was all he said, puzzling the young girl.

Tilting her head to the side, she wondered, _What could he mean by that?_

---

The next day, Fera began her classes. She nearly fell out of her seat at the difficulty of Intro to Analysis – they used words she didn't understand, and talked for nearly two hours about one picture and _literally_ everything in it, from the color of the sky to the fact that one man's shoelace was untied. Oh, it seemed very interesting once they pointed out all the different events that could have occurred based on everything that the photo presented, but it seemed so difficult.

Then again, when she saw a head of white hair in the front row, maybe it wouldn't be _that_ bad. After the class was over, she walked up to Near with a smile, holding her bear tight. "Hi!" she said happily.

He looked up at her with a blank expression, _maybe_ subtly surprised but she honestly couldn't tell. "Hello," he responded, taking a lock of hair between his fingers and twirling it.

"How are you?" she asked him warmly.

"Fine, thank you." He got up from his desk and began to walk towards the door, and seemed a little either unnerved or surprised that she followed him.

"That's good. Hey, you never told me you took this. Isn't this easy for you?"

He shrugged. "I put off taking it for a while and decided to get it over with. It's so ridiculously boring."

"You think so?" Fera asked him. "I thought it was kinda interesting."

"Hm," he responded. "I really don't care about could-bes or might-happens. They're irrelevant unless you don't already have the data, and even then information you already have can gear you towards the correct answer. There's no point in pulling every single situation out of it."

Fera blinked, speechless. Near talked like an adult, and she had to admit, she found it admirable. A paper fluttered out of her hand and she went to pick it up, embarrassed. Near simply watched, not offering to get it. She looked down at it, reading its contents.

"Oh!" she squeaked. "I've gotta go, I have my next class."

"What class?" Near asked, seeming mildly interested.

"Uh," she stammered, remembering Roger's reaction and feeling embarrassed. "Er, Cr-Creative Writing?"

Near closed his eyes, nodding wordlessly. "I see."

Fera backed up a little bit, unsure of what he was thinking but fearing the worst. "Um, y-yeah, I'm just…gonna go now…See ya, Near!" She chirped the last bit, waving to him. Near took his free hand and moved it through the air once, then letting it drop at his side and he turned away. Fera felt herself hiding her face behind her bear as she ran off, and felt a slight tingling in her cheeks, writing it off to nervousness for her classes.

---

She looked inside the classroom shyly before stepping inside. There weren't many children taking this class, maybe seven or eight at the most. They all seemed friendly and vibrant, having a loud, boisterous conversation. Their chairs were set up in a circle and Fera approached that circle, not talking for fear of interrupting.

"So, then what happened?" a girl a little younger than Dilan, it looked, asked, blowing a bubble of green gum. The pop made Fera's eye twitch, disgusted by the sound.

"Haha, yeah, so she said to me, 'Oh, get out, you,' and she hit me with the spoon! And I had my pants on the _whole_ time!" The boy she was talking to laughed, and he turned his head to the side. "Well, look who it is!" he greeted, and the other children turned their heads to look at her.

"Hi, Dilan," she said quietly, hugging her bear tighter. She felt horribly self-conscious. All these kids were older than her!

"Guys, this is Fera," Dilan said, gesturing with his arm towards her. She noticed he was _still_ wearing the same green jacket. Didn't he ever wash it? He looked at her again. "You're into writing, Little Bear?"

She stammered, dragging one foot in a circle on the floor. "Um, w-well, I thought I could give it a try," she answered, feeling like she was dodging the question.

"You'll love it," the girl with the bubblegum said to her. She held out her hand for Fera to shake. "I'm Annie," she said. "But everyone else calls me Bubbles. I wonder why?" she added sarcastically. Fera laughed a little and took her hand, noticing that her fingernails were yellow from highlighter.

Dilan jumped off his chair and put a hand on Fera's shoulder, turning her to face the rest of the class. "The kid with the sock puppet is Jack," he said, pointing to a boy with dark brown hair and narrow eyes. He grinned and allowed the sock puppet to mouth something at her. "That girl's Roach," he continued, motioning to a girl younger than Annie with pin-straight black hair and dark clothes and makeup.

"I have a collection of dead butterflies," Roach said, staring blankly at Fera. "Wanna see?" Fera shook her head "no" very quickly. _What _is_ it with these names?_ she thought to herself.

Before Dilan could finish, a skinny woman with wild brown hair skipped into the room. She clapped her hands. "Good morning, everybody!" she chirped. She looked as though she was in her twenties, and she was very lively. "Did you all give me something wonderful to read?"

"Uh, Ms. B?" Dilan interrupted.

Ms. B turned her head in his direction. "Yes, Dilan?"

"We kinda..have a new kid…standing right next to me…"

The woman blinked golden eyes, finally noticing Fera. Fera squeaked a bit and hid behind her bear. "A new, budding author! Hello, dearie!" she exclaimed. "What's your name?"

"F-F-Fera," the young girl replied, shifting her weight uncomfortably.

"Welcome, Fera. I'm Ms. B – don't bother even trying to pronounce my full name, no one can do it unless they have seven tongues. You have an interest in writing?"

"Uh-huh," Fera replied, nodding. _Well, uh, actually, I just wanted to take something I knew I could pass easily…_

"Excellent!" Ms. B nearly shouted, a bright smile on her face. "Writing's a great tool for so many things, Fera. You'll find it very useful in your future, I'm sure."

"Uh, y-yeah, okay," Fera responded, sitting down like everyone else had. _She's crazy. Poems and stories and stuff, how's that helpful? What the heck could anyone do with that? I just wanna pass and be as smart as the other kids. That's all I want._

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**That's chapter 6! I hope you liked it. And, I'll just say it now: I cannot repeat Roach's line out loud, in her monotone. I start laughing my ass off. **

**Please review, guys! It honestly makes my day whenever I get a review.**

**-Winter Poison  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**OH MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY. D: A whole bunch of stuff has happened, most of it irrelevant to your reading experience, so I'll just say that my computer was really low on memory a while back, so I was deleting all my word documents except for this and a few (still unfinished) oneshots, and accidentally deleted the first three pages of this in the process. A whole bunch of teenage drama and school crap has also been going on, so I am SO sorry for the late update AND how bad this chapter is. Urk. Please attempt to enjoy anyway...^^;;**

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Slowly opening her ice-blue eyes, Fera looked out the window in her room. Morning light spilled in and she sighed contentedly. She was now used to the silence when she woke, for she was aware that she woke up earlier than everyone else.

She had, after all, been living at Wammy's House for two years now. At ten years old, she had learned quite a bit, from both her classes and her experiences with the other children. Fera rubbed her eyes, waking herself up, and sat up in bed, picking up her white bear. She still slept with it in her arms and never learned to leave it alone.

One of the first things she had learned was just how great L was, and how every single child, now including herself, strived to be him. L, to them, was the essence of perfection. Who didn't want to be perfect? Fera knew she did, very much. The second thing she had learned was that it would not be easy trying to become L. She still took the easiest classes she could get (and always kept Creative Writing, much to Roger's disdain), but she found that she struggled greatly in even those. It was a shock to her at how advanced the other children were, and how, well, plain she was. She didn't have any great flair for numbers, weapons made no sense to her, art was no strength of hers…Fera began to feel that she didn't really have any special skill. She only kept Creative Writing since it was proven that it was literally impossible to do poorly in that class.

But what could L possibly do with poems and short stories, she'd wonder. And musing on that now, she remembered an incident that posed that very question only a year ago. She and Mello were both assigned to help clean the kitchen, since Sama had injured her arm and could not do everything. Fera had noticed that although the woman was grateful for the help, she also seemed to resent needing it. Fera probably wouldn't have minded the job so much if she didn't have to work with that big fathead Mello.

Fera was busy wiping down counters while Mello took it upon himself to mop the floor. They were both dead silent until Mello's mop accidentally hit Fera in her ankle. "Ow!" she squealed, glaring at him and jumping. "That hurt, you jerk!" Truthfully, it didn't hurt at all, but Fera was itching for a fight.

"I barely even touched you!" Mello snarled, his blue eyes aflame with anger.

"You did that on purpose!" she accused, shaking a wipe at him.

"Why would I even wanna _touch_ a loser like you?" Mello scoffed. "I don't even know what you're _doing_ here."

"I have just as much of a place here as you!" Fera responded defensively.

"Oh yeah?" Mello challenged.

"Yeah!"

"I've seen your grades on the ranking list," the blonde boy said with a sneer. "You're _pretty_ far down on that list."

That stung. Fera was well aware that she was struggling, she didn't need a big jerk like Mello rubbing it in her face. "I-I'm just not used to everything yet!"

"Oh yeah? What're you actually _good_ at?"

Fera paused. She swallowed nervously. "I'm-I'm almost the best in my Creative Writing class!"

Mello laughed loudly and cruelly. "Yeah, because L's such a poet!" He slapped one hand on the counter, smirking. "Listen, you. You're not gonna get anywhere if you're no good at math or detective skills. In fact," he added, his smirk growing wider, "I'd say that at this rate, you'll never be even _close_ to becoming L."

Fera bit her lip, trying to resist the urge to smack him across the face. "Who died and made you the expert on becoming L?" she shot back.

"I've _met_ L, O Wise One. In person."

Fera's anger washed into curiosity. "You…you've met L? For real?"

"Yup," Mello replied, leaning on the mop like a walking stick.

"What's he like?" she asked eagerly.

Mello shrugged, the loose material of his black shirt moving back to its proper place instead of hanging off his shoulder. "Like us, I guess, but a lot weirder. Kinda creepy."

"What did you talk about? What's he look like?"

Mello pulled the mop out of the bucket, some of the water splashing on his shoes. "He told me some stories about cases he solved before. Man, one of them made me feel sick…" He shook his head, trying to erase the mental images.

"What does he look like?" Fera repeated, leaning forward and hanging on Mello's every word.

"Can't say," Mello responded, going back to mopping. "He gave me strict orders never to tell."

"Aww," Fera replied, disappointed. She got a fresh wipe and began to clean the counters again. "So..You really think that…I couldn't be L?"

"No way," Mello responded. "Sorry, but that's my opinion." They didn't speak any more after that.

Fera felt a little pained, brought out of her memory and back into the real world. She clutched her soft, white teddy close to her and kissed the top of its head, seeking comfort. "I can be the next L, right?" she asked it. As usual, her furry friend didn't respond, but the sewn-on smile was enough for her. With a dash of confidence, she hopped out of bed and quickly changed into her usual turtleneck and jeans and walked out into the hall.

She spotted Kaarlo, Ruth, and Linda again, and tried to walk up and say 'hello' to them. But as soon as she approached them, Linda got an odd look on her face and turned her two companions around. "Come on, let's go play somewhere else," the tiny group's leader instructed. The other two followed without question, with Kaarlo muttering something in Finnish under his breath. Fera tilted her side, clutching her bear and feeling confused. What had she done?

Scratching her head, she walked on towards the common room. "Morning, everyone!" she chirped, feigning confidence. A few heads turned and looked at her with strange expressions, grumbling under their breaths and turning back to what they had been doing. Most didn't acknowledge her presence.

Fera was incredibly confused now. Blinking a few times, she tugged at her bear, pulling it close to her chest. What the heck was going on here?

"Who's that again?" she heard a voice whisper, not as quietly as the child probably thought they were being.

Their friend wasn't much quieter. "That's _Fera_," the girl's friend replied, obvious disdain in her voice. "I heard that she doesn't think L is real."

"That's nothing!" a young boy piped up. Did no one in this house know how to whisper, she thought. "Someone told me that Mello said she didn't want to become L!"

Fera's blood froze. Why would Mello have said that? While Fera hadn't considered herself unpopular, she didn't realize how quick everyone would be to judge her simply based on her rank. _Apparently Mello isn't the only competitive one._

"Th-that's not true!" she squeaked, walking over to the small group. The children were probably between the ages of six and nine, from their faces. "I do want to be like L! I do! I know L is real!"

"Then how come you always write stuff instead of taking _real_ classes?" the boy asked.

"Real?" Fera repeated, color draining from her face. Creative Writing wasn't a real class? Well…She supposed she was only taking it because she knew she could do well, but it still meant something to her. "M-my classes are real!" she argued. "I just like to write, that's all!"

"_Mello_ says that L's got no need for poets," one of his female companions retorted. Fera felt odd that she didn't know these children's names – how much more had she missed?

"Mello's a jerk who doesn't know what he's talking about!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" Although, in all honesty, Fera wasn't sure if she could back up her arguments.

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**Horrid chapter is horrid. I'm sorry, guys, I just felt it was unfair to keep holding something back from you guys who seem truly interested. Oy, I think I probably lost people because I'm a jerkwad who doesn't update enough. ._.;;**

**If anyone's interested, I'm also going to be starting a project for Soul Eater, which is by far one of the best anime I've started. I watched the first three episodes (English dub premiere3) at New York Anime Festival and fell in love with it. It'll be pretty dark and _very_ NC-17, so if you'd like to see that, let me know.**

**Thanks for reading! (Even though I don't update enough.) Please review and let me know what you think, I really want your opinions!**


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